Something I’m Struggling With

We’ve got an in house tournament coming up at ATT, and I’ve been helping some of the “bigs” at my gym get ready (I won’t be competing as I had a series of MRI’s yesterday to see if I need surgery on my shoulder) and something really struck me in today’s session.

I’m a large guy, 6’5 and 265-270, down from 290 or so in my powerlifting days.  When I started there were very few large guys, and I really tried to focus on playing “small”, not using my strength and relying upon technique.  I’m very pleased with my progress, I’m very comfortable in my guard (open or closed), 1/2 guard and I really enjoy active rolling as opposed to trying to lay on people.

That being said, I’ve spent so much time working on this, that I feel very uncomfortable now training aggressively.  It really came to bear for me this morning training with one of our young bucks, he comes 110% and he escapes like he is fighting for his life.  I still handle him just fine, but it really hit me today that his aggression intimidates me and I don’t think I can match it.  Now the reality is, given my size I’m limited in how often I can roll really hard and I love training against guys larger than me for exactly that reason…but give me a wrestler, or someone really aggressive and it really throws me off my game.

I’m really not sure how to handle this, or even if I should right now but I know this…..when my shoulder is fixed I’ll want to compete, and if that’s the case I need to bring the intensity to my training that I once had.  The higher belts I train with have this, I’m just not sure I do right now.


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May 2009
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